Friday, 20 November 2015


Lowdown: A Hawaiian is brought home to promote a private space launching operation.
Some movies are good. Most are mediocre. Too many are bad. Some movies, however, make one go “WTF”. Aloha is such a movie. And no, I do not mean it as a compliment. It is a movie that feels as if it was made with everyone involved high on something; it is a movie that feels as if its audience is meant to watch it while high on something, too.
We follow Brian (Bradley Cooper). We’re introduced to the character through a quick flicking montage implying the guy is some sort of an astronaut/rocket scientist/soldier/superman. Or, in other words, we have no idea what he did/does for a living despite all the good intentions. What we do learn, eventually, is that he is originally from Hawaii, and was brought back to Hawaii at the whim of billionaire Carson (Bill Murray). The latter seeks to have his private space launching facilities established at Hawaii.
Carson is working in partnership with the US Army; both billionaire and army are encumbered by the need to appease the aboriginals before they can have their spaceport, hence Brian’s presence.
Countering Brian in this triangular romantic comedy are Tracy (Rachel McAdams), whom Brian almost married but abandoned and who is now married with two kids yet clearly wondering what could have happened; and air force ace Captain Ng (an Emma Stone who, as has often been often noted, looks nothing like an Ng). The former represents the careless character that Brian used to be; the latter is the idealistic person whose role it is to turn Brian into the man he could be.
The challenge is Hawaii. Or rather, does Hawaii need a spaceport, with all the military involvement that would bring (as if Pearl Harbor does not exist)? Should we put such facilities in private hands? And should we endanger that mystic Hawaiian state of mind (remember, this film is meant to be consumed on a high) for such earthly (pun intended) endeavours?
The way I summed it up makes it sound as if Aloha actually has something going for it. Clearly I have wronged the movie, because Aloha has nothing going for it but that druggish feeling and a multitude of pretty faces exposing their perfectly white teeth to us because there’s nothing better for them to do in this movie (sadly, it seems American Sniper was not badness enough for Cooper). Aloha is a movie that never gets anywhere, is never clear about its intentions, and really – makes one wonder what happened to an otherwise talented Cameron Crowe.
Overall: 1 out of 5 crabs. Save yourself an hour and a half of WTF and avoid Aloha at all cost.

No comments: