Sunday, 30 March 2014

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

Lowdown: The little kids from the fairytale grow to become witch hunters.
There are certain things Hollywood has an abundance of. Budgets and stars are some of those. What it seems to lack is a good idea to base a film on, which is why we often see it lurking around the sewers. Hansel & Gretel represents all of the above; this, however, does not mean it is a bad movie.
The exposition tells us of the story we probably all heard before. The parents of two kids, a boy (Hansel) and a girl (Gretel) have them taken to the forest due to some elusive danger. In their desperation our kids stumble upon a witch who force feeds them with candies, but the kids overcome her and kill her. And now for the twist: years later, our kids are now young adults ( Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton, both blog favourites) whose speciality is hunting down witches for money, tag team style.
Which is where our film actually starts. A small medieval town is haunted by witches (led by another blog favourite, Famke Janssen). The witches steal most of the town's kids for their sinister plot. In desperation the mayor calls Hansel & Gretel, despite the advice of his sherif. The pair is up to the challenges, both those imposed by the witches and the sheriff, but they will also learn a thing or two about who they really are in the process. And in order to make sure us viewers do not entertain the thought of incest between our two sexy leads, Renner is even awkwardly arranged with a romantic interest of his own (adding a bit of sex to the movie's overall coolness).
Story is but a side dish in Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters. It's all about witch hunting done cool, and it is in this department that the film excels. Do not expect much logic here; our heroes will find a gatling gun and even some holly hand grenades if that's what it takes to kill a witch or a flock of them. Thus we are open to pretty cool action of the type that made me fall in love with From Dusk Till Dawn several decades ago. Things don't make sense, but things are fun. If you're up to some entertaining entertainment, look up to Hansel & Gretel.
Overall: Silly, but I loved almost every minute of Hansel & Gretel. I suspect the people making this movie thought the same. 3.5 out of 5 crabs.

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